Cookery Chaos [Open: Micah, Yuru, Collin, Gao]

[El]

A reflexive scoff soon erupted into a guffaw as Gao watched the petty exchange of the two men opposite him. Contrary to the Hylian's reaction, the Lurelin-local didn't seem at all offended.

"Clearly you are a parent," He remarked in Collin's direction, his grin gleaming with amusement as he settled down - purposefully last - into a wide, cross-legged seat beside Micah. "Devious vegetable plots too! Blaaargh," A playful grimace twisted his face, "I don't miss those days: when I was just a wee lil' lad, picking away at my food for hidden 'icky green things' only to get a sandal to the back of the head."

"...Worked in the end though." Gao chuckled, lifting the menu as if reminded that, yes, yes he SHOULD order something more than just a meat and rice bowl. He gave the sheet just a cursory glance though, simply refreshing himself on its contents and the chef's special of the day.

"Pumpkins are certainly one of the tastier ones." The Sheikah continued, attention lingering on the meal Micah had pointed out. "...Well, if you class it as a veggie. But I suppose that's besides the point eh. I second what Yuru here said - just give it a go! We can get a whole spread of things to share between us two if you'd like, mate, so don't feel restricted to just one plate.

"AH- though speaking of: No." As firm and adamant as the rejection was, it was nonetheless paired with a lopsided smile. A smile directed towards the blonder Sheikah. There was an obvious discomfort there, in the warp of his warm features. "As much as I appreciate the offer to cover the bill, bud, I'll take care of Micah and I. Wouldn't sit right with me at all having a lad on his holiday pay for me in my own hometown and all that." The more he spoke on it, the deeper the furrow of his brow became. Eventually a full frown had pressed his weak smile into a tight line...

"...Plus I eat a ton." He chortled, after a long pause.

Dinraal's fire now that he had actually settled and the earlier tensions had begun melting off his shoulders proper, so too did he feel the sweat begin to drip. Gao tugged free the hem of his loose shirt, wiping down his face with a soft little grunt. It didn't help much. The sea breeze was giving some relief, but blocked as it was by the grimy fabric it could only do so much. Funny how the exertion never caught his attention when he was arse-deep in labour. I guess it was doing a good job of keeping my mind off things huh.

"On the topic of baking though-" Gao yanked off his shirt entirely with a big breath of relief. After a few dib-dabs down his upper back, he discarded it in the sand beside him and leaned back, taking a moment to bask in the sun and wind: warmth and cold taking turns to kiss the expansive artwork of monsterkin bodypaint that adorned him. Where it had smudged or bled with sweat it still stained him, bleaching the skin from many years of use. Scars too, countless and diverse riddled his bared torso. They marred the dark, decorated flesh with vast quantities of discolouration and rippling ridges: sharp cuts, curved serrated gashes, burns, stab punctures, claw scrapes, etc., but most numerous of all were the monster bites - of every variety and size. To a knowledgeable eye each scar seemed to hold a different memory, for none were aged the same - half of them were almost faded entirely.

Gao had forgotten they were there. "I hear some of the young'uns have been getting really adventurous lately. I have yet to try it myself but there's a-... dessert pizza now, or something? Sometimes with mighty banana, others with hearty durian." A thought halted him then and he squinted up at the broad expanse of the blue sky. "...I think I'd prefer pineapple though, y'know. I bet that'd pair really well with some salted meat...

"...I wonder if Chef would be up for that if I asked."

[LuckyBlackCat]

The other three had started talking family. Namely, Collin's family. Going by what Micah had seen from his travels so far, Hylians and Sheikah preferred to live in smaller households, with the parents taking on the vast majority of the childrearing. In Goron City, the children had primary caregivers, but most everyone played a role in their upbringing - although Micah had yet to officially call himself a father, needing to become someone a son could be proud of first, he knew what handfuls kids could be. Where did they even get all that energy from?

Collin, seemingly used to wacky antics for that reason judging by his sigh, reached over and pulled out the wooden sticks Yuru had used to fasten his hair into a bun. Even Micah, for all his inexperience with Hyrule's restaurants, could tell using the strange utensils that way had to be considered a no-no... but what was their intended use? He frowned at his own. Did people skewer chunks of food onto them? If so, why did everyone have two each, and why were they joined at the top? He tried pulling them apart as Yuru had done so effortlessly with his. The attempt, needless to say, was rather less elegant - with a loud crack, they snapped into several splinters all over the table. "Aw, goro..." It looked like he'd be better off sticking with the metal utensils.

Thankfully, Yuru remained friendly and polite, neither making a big deal of that little blunder nor of his limited food knowledge, instead offering some of whatever he ordered. "Thanks! That'd be great," Micah replied, sweeping the wood chunks off of the menu. "To tell the truth, there are many different rock based dishes... curried flint, pumice scratchings, lava soup to name a few... Although I'm up for trying new things!"

His eyes widened as Yuru mentioned baking experience. Bread - so simple in theory, so complex in practice. The last time he'd tried to bake, the loaf had somehow turned out black on the outside and almost raw on the inside. A stablehand had wondered aloud how that was even possible. Before Micah could voice the question that came to mind, Collin commented about... putting vegetables in things that weren't supposed to have them? It went without saying that didn't help Micah's confusion any, nor did Gao's response about picking out "icky green things".

"Hm? Do green plants not taste good?" His eyebrows drew together. "Did someone put them in as a prank or something?"

That was nothing compared to the bemusement when Gao revealed his copious scars, most of them arched, serrated ridges that looked as if teeth had left them. Micah quickly concealed his alarm. To him, battle scars were no unusual sight, as many a Goron warrior bore punctures and grooves in their rocky skin with pride, but it looked as if Gao had almost become someone's meal himself on multiple occasions.

Not that Gao seemed particularly bothered about them, turning the conversation back towards baking with talk of that "pizza" stuff that seemed to be a popular dish. "Oh! If baking's your field of expertise..." Micah looked over at Yuru. "Someone gave me a recipe for foe-cackia. Do you know how to make that, and if so, how easy is it?"

[Sav'saaba]

The land of Hyrule is composed of wildly differing but bustling ecosystems, providing a home to an array of species. Among them, some of the most widespread are surely the hominids and their subspecies. From the desert to the snowy peaks of the north, one is bound to eventually find a settlement of these interesting, generally intelligent life forms.
 
Here, we observe the chance congregation of some of these creatures as they prepare to feed. This group of adult bachelors, save for the oldest, is made up of physically impressive specimens, though bulk and brawn does not always mean being the winner of the evolutionary rat race that is siring offspring. In nature, cunning can outrank a formidable physique. The dynamic between these gathered males appears friendly, although one among them, seemingly badly suited to the sunny conditions of this habitat, engaged in a behaviour that the smaller, oldest of the group may have perceived as a challenge.
 
Perhaps, had the hybrid of two subspecies among the group not stepped in with a disarming and humorous comment, it might have meant the start of a simmering rivalry between the two males. It is not unheard of for the different hominids to breed among one another, but this particular product of such a union is quite the exceptional result, and testament to the power of hybrid vigour if the scars of severe, but old and healed injuries put on proud display are anything to go by. Scars of such severity are unlikely to be found marring the skin of the hardy but friendly Gorons, to which the last member of this fascinating group belongs. An extraordinary life-form that is capable of, in fact even prefers to, subsist on minerals or mineraloid matter. Science is still not entirely clear on the intricacies of their digestive system, but this particular one seems to be keen to partake in the to him unfamiliar diet of his companions, even if their customs prove equally strange to him.




Yuru leaned back on his hands, his hair now fanning down his shoulders, feeling unperturbed that his attempt of presenting somewhat civilised at the dinner table was being reprimanded by Collin.
Whatever, man, but don't you bitch about a hair in your soup later.
He thought the better of voicing that however, and instead just quirked a corner of his mouth at the Hylian, but then broke out in a chuckle kindled by Gao's infectious amusement.

When his fellow Sheikah declined his offer of paying for everyone's meal, Yuru shrugged.
"Well, your loss." he replied simply, and would not press the matter further.
A big appetite, eh. It wasn't as if he himself would normally survive on a nutritious diet of golden flowers and oxygen.

"Hm. Vegetables are overrated. We didn't get many of those where I grew up and I turned out fine." Yuru gruffed in response to the raging debate on icky green stuff, curling an arm and patting the delineated and bulging bicep with a hand, but then was upstaged by Gao merely doffing his shirt.

The Yiga could initially not suppress a visceral reaction to the scars. Ever since first taking a blade to hand as a youth, Yuru had garnered plenty of marks and mars, but they were far from as many or disfiguring as those that covered Gao's anatomy.
The fuck did this guy do for a living if he was in a more ragged state than someone who was regularly getting their ass handed to them by the hero of legend, the best swordsman there ever was, is, and would be?

"The hell's gotten into kids today?" he responded with mock indignation and looked at Collin as their local expert, before his attention was back on Gao, red gaze intense on the beastman, "Don't tell me you're going to be ordering an abomination like that. And if you get one with banana, I swear I'ma... -- you're not Yiga, are ya?" Yuru challenged teasingly, his eyes narrowing, and he tilted his head.
Accusing someone of something that applies to yourself to draw attention away from you was the oldest trick in the book.

Obviously Gao wasn't a member of the Yiga clan. A guy like that would be hard to forget, let alone overlook. Keeping the simpering whelps that largely made up the rank of footsoldier or the even lower-on-the-foodchain aspirants apart could prove tricky at times and an effort Blademaster Yuru could rarely be assed to make, but that did not apply here. A lot of the aforementioned whelps never made it through basic anymore and ran back home to mommy when it turned out to be a less glorious gig than was promised by the recruiters.

A Goron gourmet had not been on his bingo card today, but neither had his cover of being a  tourist almost getting blown by a horse been, and Yuru found it tremendously interesting to learn that there was more to Goron cuisine than just a side of limestone or a slate of basalt, but hold the olivine please, and voiced that intrigue aloud to his tablemates.

"Wouldn't call myself an expert, though. But my old man was." Is? Who the hell knew. Yuru sure didn't. The coot was in all likeliness still where he'd left him, on the literal other side of the world.
"I was supposed to follow in his footsteps. Sheikah tradition and all that crap.  But life took a different turn and the whole me-taking-over-the-family-business thing fell through," he confessed with a shrug to punctuate his indifference. An indifference that had been hard-won, true, but nowadays it was simply that, and no more, or less.
Having decided on his order should someone of the staff come and take it, he put aside the menu.

"Focaccia?" Yuru stammered, after puzzling for a moment on what Micah had meant with foe-cackia. "Pretty much foolproof provided you use ample water. With how I learned to make it, you mainly need patience, and some place to rest the dough chilled for at least a day. Like the ice house of the Gerudo," he paused for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, "Others will tell you to always have the dough rise in a warm environment, because of the yeast, and while that is often true for other types of dough, it is not so for focaccia."
He prattled on a bit afterwards.

Ah, the complexities of bread.

[AmJanky]

"Clearly you are a parent."

Collin chuckled at the remark, it wasn't just his own girl that had made him a patient wall against shenanigans. And it wasn't the first time he'd heard about the impeccable aim some parents had with slippers. He had never found use for a slipper, heck, he'd likely get a stiletto heel twanging between his eyes if he'd try.


While Gao turned down the invitation to be wined and dined, he still ended up shirtless. When the man sitting across from him blotted the sweat from his body using said shirt he had just torn off, Collin got a good look at the patterns seemingly painted so often on the skin even the sun hadn't quite reached it and hadn't seen a chance to tan the hide of the Lurelin Sheikah. What had tanned his hide were copious amounts of teeth.
Amongst the paint that decorated him, in patterns that usually decorated monsters, were scars where the same monsters had marred him.

Often, by the looks of it.

Collin recognised the toothmarks, he'd seen them on stubborn men - and his sister's leg. Equally stubborn - not the leg, the sister.
She was henceforth still not entirely able to say 'you should see the other guy.', most notably because there had been nothing left of the other guy.

Amongst monster hunters the dips and dimples and discolorations were not something to be particularly proud of. They were a sign of potentially having put yourself and your squad in danger. It wasn't wise to act the hero and forget oneself when dealing with the Demon King's henchmen, there were situations better left a lost battle than a lost life. Besides, every bloodmoon the struggle would start all over again.

Whereas Collin long didn't hold onto the monster hunter ways any more, he couldn't help but raise a slight sniff at the sight. They felt out of place on the strongman, like he'd deliberately sought out the hellspawn to wrestle with. Even for a man that strong it was a silly thing to do, the smallest of blins could snap a guy in half.. or well, not this guy, evidently. Still, that was two or more scenarios he shouldn't have survived.


The sound of cracking wood brought Collin back from his lament as Micah dejectedly looked at the splintered chopsticks.

"Don't worry about that, it takes some practice." He offered his own pair of chopsticks that were already split by Yuru.

Listening to Micah talking about Goron cuisine made Collin favor stones over fruit on pizza, even though his insides most definitely would not.
It wasn't all too weird to burn Hylian cooking if all one knew was how to cook on an active volcano. As with using chopsticks, it was a practiced skill.

"Green plants do taste good. Don't go by these guys' opinions. Judging by their physique they subsist mostly on proteins." Though he knew Sundelion to be on the menu for Yuru. "Maybe they could build up more gains by switching to Goron cooking, hm?" He threw both of the big men a sweet grin.


When Yuru raised the question what the hell had gotten into kids these days, Collin couldn't help but raise the 'solution', "A severe lack of slippers, if I am to believe some."
"Also, what an accusation to make... over bananas?" As far as the banana obsession went one had to wonder if Yiga were attracted to the suffix Mighty, or - well - the shape... A mystery for sure. "Man's built like a Lynel - even with the lack of horse-" he paused briefly, only to squint at Gao and looked as if he was pondering something, "-legs, and you're going for Yiga?"


And as their conversation turned to bread, a server made her way to their table and stood proud rattling off her practiced, "Good day sirs, my name is Lani. I shall be your server for today, if there is anything you wish you need only call. Have you been able to make a choice from our menu? The chef recommends the Cheesy Meat Bowl today."

"I believe the point was to share some dishes, that guy says he eats a ton, our Goron friend would like to taste a lot and that guy," specifically pointing out Yuru, "needs to try the sunny pumpkin, would you happen to have those?" Collin took the opportunity that presented itself, perhaps not on a platter, but for sure with one in her hands.

"We do, fresh from Hateno!"

"Awesome. I'm personally put in the mood for something spicy... and a cocktail... as fruity as you can make it - add bananas - surprise me."


Ah, the complexities of people.

[El]

One tickled laugh was soon trumped by a mighty guffaw, the forever bemusing stereotype of Yiga and their fascination for bananas turning then to some of his monsterkin. "Lynel is actually exactly what some of my bodypaint is modelled after," Gao eagerly retorted, a dazzling vibrancy to his grin. He was about to yap on more - a LOT more - on this incredibly exciting subject, but a realisation suddenly dawned on him snapping shut his jaw.

Ah. The scars.

That'd explain the looks he'd felt earlier when admiring the sky. ...Though now he felt a bit silly, as he had assumed (very proudly) at the time that they were simply admiring his very hard-earned and hard-maintained physique. Heh. Gao hid his abashed blush with an awkward scratch of his opposite cheek: stretching a gruff, large hand over as much of his face as possible.

For better or worse none of his company had decided to pry though. Usually when Gao bared some skin an inquisition followed with varying flavours of concern, mockery or bewildered fascination. Such prying questions weren't always welcome, no, but now, instead, the Sheikah found himself a little at a loss without the opportunity to explain them. What exactly had the trio decided to assume about the display...? About HIM?

Or maybe they just don't give a single damn. How about that?

True. He had just let his ego run away with his own assumptions mere seconds earlier. Let's not do that again.

The conversation had already moved on anyway, the approach and departure of the waitress shifting the air both metaphorically and literally. Daddy Collin had promptly dealt with the potentially very complicated issue of food with smooth - and honestly admirable - brevity, only to top it all off with another banana-related quip. Gao chuckled again.

"Y'know what, that sounds bloody delicious. If I didn't have the appetite of a horse-" He paused to apologetically (jestfully) tip his head in the direction of their distant equine friend, "- no offence intended - I would've ordered that myself. Cocktails often sound tasty but they never make the damn things big enough to quench a proper thirst."

A ruminating sigh slipped from his lips then and he gazed off at the horizon - as if brooding over something deeply profound. His distant stare lingered. A warm breeze flitted through a few loose locks. And then, right on cue, a profound revelation of wisdom did indeed then appear to him, "...I guess they would sell pitchers too."

Speaking of good drinks though, the combined thoughts of both that and the ocean - with all its bayside caverns - reminded him of Yuru's earlier remark. The one about Gerudo ice. And whatever questionably intriguing memory that had resurfaced in the strappingly blonde Sheikah at its mention.

Eyes twinkling with an idea, Gao looked back to Micah and his second-attempt chopsticks with a bright grin, "Fancy making some of that focaccia?" he prodded, the escalating bubble of his anticipation tangible. "Later, I mean. And only if you feel up to it, obviously." He quickly added.

"Man I could KIL-...C-CLEaaaan a stable for a good piece of freshly baked bread, the smell of it is to DI-...divine. Divinely delicious." He cleared his throat to choke down the rougher side of him and added, with a deflated grumble, "I don't often get to eat it either." A sad and bitter truth. Even if he managed to get his grubby fingers on the right ingredients, managing to keep the dough safe long enough for it to rise was always an ordeal. Those monsterkin maws gobbled up anything that wasn't screwed down.

"Suitably chilly spots are a rarity around these parts..." Gao continued to ramble, brow pinching as he recollected his original train of thought, "-but I think I might know a place or two? Ever since the Upheaval a few new caves have opened up, which might do the job."

He paused then though, casting Yuru a concerned frown, "Unless you don't think that'll be cold enough?" He seriously inquired.

True, Gao might not exactly trust the guy - either of these guys - just yet, but surely it wouldn't hurt to ask for advice about bread methods. ...Right? They were affable enough in public at least. Collin's quick thinking in offering Micah the chopsticks had earned a warm smile of approval from Gao at the time, and Yuru had an open way with his words that let quick familiarity feel natural.

"Well, I guess if worse comes to worst," He glanced back to Micah, grin askew, "-maybe I'll settle for trying out some of your own Goron cuisine after all." The scholar laughed; he wasn't entirely joking.